December 19, 2019 10:00 am Published by

The Guilt Of The Season #219

Why do we have guilt over not fitting everything and everyone in—especially at this time of year?

I was asked this question during an interview and my take is this: many of us have bought into a “you can have it all” experience in life. We worry about others’ judgments, approval, and feelings, yet when doing so, we often ignore our own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

It stems from what we perceive “good” people do and our histories, including how we’re brought up.

The fact of the matter is, we can’t do and have it all at the same time. We must learn to say no and risk someone being slightly hurt in the moment (but free to move on with no expectation – which is a gift) over someone being upset or angry if we fail, don’t show or worse – cause pain for ourselves or those closest to us – out of our need for approval.

The question becomes: “what are you trading for your stress?” Is it worth it? Is it working? If not, just say “no” without any explanation or guilt. You’ll be surprised by how enjoyable the holidays can be!

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