March 12, 2019 10:00 am Published by

#17 – Rewriting the Story

I’m at a women’s retreat offsite with a group of amazing women CEOs who are both colleagues and friends, and it’s International Women’s Day. We’re having incredible experiences we’ve worked hard for, learning with one another and from other powerful leaders we’ve invited into our circle. It’s an experience of excellence, learning and joy interrupted by outbursts of intense laughter. I would wish everyone an experience like this and am grateful to be able to share it with these fine women every year.

There’s always learning when you’re with others, whether you seek it, or it finds you. Some of it is planned – with the people coming to share their lives, experience and wisdom with us. Some of it is intrinsic in the smaller groups you connect with, those you sit next to, the conversations on breaks and the feedback offered in the one-on-ones.

I take pride in learning and being self-aware. Yet, no matter how much I learn and think I’ve learned, I have just as many blind spots (cognitively) to work on as I began with years ago. Maybe more!

I am the type of learner who needs to be hit over the head with a lesson. The learning will rarely get my full attention unless it’s repeated and often painful. I wish it was different; I’d love to learn in a gentler way, but I seem to retain my learning most effectively when it comes repeatedly and hard.

What did I learn?

  1. That my worth is absolutely wrapped up in being able to contribute and when I am unable to contribute, I don’t show up as the best version of myself which diminishes myself and other’s experience.
  2. I learned that as self-aware as I am, I have blind spots which limit my feelings, behaviors and experiences. That means recognizing whether the story I’m telling myself which influences my feelings, behaviors and experiences is forwarding or limiting me. Since my stories are never THE truth, why would I choose to believe something that limits me? Wow again. I’m rewriting the story to forward me. I’ve been the one arguing for my limitation. Yikes!
  3. My work will never be done – the essence of what it means to be a human BEing (not a human done).

It’s no accident this is happening today. It’s no accident it’s happening with these women. I’m grateful to rewrite this story since I’m the only one who seems attached to it anyway.

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